Dreams

I just had three dreams, the first one being where our child has been born, sleeping in practical cradle, sucking it’s little thumb. You came home then, late at night, and told me that you had impregnated another woman. I had cried then, knowing that it’d mean that you’d leave us for your new family. It wasn’t that I loved you, but I had grown to love being with you.

The second dream, I was in your room, lying on my side on your bed, looking quite obviously pregnant. I looked over at you and told you that id you really didn’t want this child with me, I could go get it terminated, and that we’ll tell everyone it was a miscarriage. No one would have to know the truth.

The third dream, I was standing over my baby’s cradle, wondering why I couldn’t hear it. I looked in and saw a very still baby, it’s eyes wide open, its whites and pupils completely black, unmoving. The mouth moved as if it was saying something to me, but I couldn’t make out what it was.

It’s now been about two hours since I first lay down to sleep, and now I don’t want to sleep at all. I woke up crying and bawling into my pillow, and now I’m just too scared to sleep.

Just putting this out there. You’ll probably never see it. I don’t think you read this blog anyway. But still…I just want someone to listen; I just want someone to know.